Just say NO

Novelty Lighters

I do not like them,
I do not like
novelty lighters in my hand

Would you like them
Here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
I do not like
novelty lighters in my hand.
I do not like them,

Would you light them
in a box?
Would you light them
with a fox?

Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not light them here or there.
I would not light them anywhere.
I would not light novelty lighters with my hand.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

"Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr. Seuss as gratuitously altered by MacLoosh


Here is the deal:  I love trout.  Trouty trout trout trout.  Generally, I like anything that looks like a trout, acts like a trout, or reminds me of a trout.  Trout make me happy.

Except this:

An impromptu trip to the local Ace Hardware gave me quite a jolt today.  I am vehemently against the sale of novelty lighters.  I think they are pointless, and dangerous.   And yet there they were, right in my home-town, just begging to be played with, Just begging to burn an unsuspecting kid.  Just waiting to help that kid's natural curiosity transform into an unnecessary fire.

My feelings run deep on this.  I work in fire prevention.  I've seen the damage that novelty lighters can cause.  What's more; I have VERY personal experience with a kid who became curious about matches and a lighter that LOOKED like matches and a lighter.  My own kid.  I can't imagine that he would be able to contain his curiosity with something like a trout shaped lighter.  

Love of trout notwithstanding, do your kids a favor:  Voice your opinion to the management of ANY local retailers who sell them.  Support legislation to ban them.  Teach your kids that even though they look like toys...they are not.

If anyone wants more information about these, or existing bans on novelty lighters...email me.  I'll gladly share everything I have and know.  macloosh@hotmail.com 

Blogger's note:

Sorry for the serious rant...but in those places where my passion for fishing, and my passion for fire safety and prevention intersect, my natural reaction is too much to contain. 

Also, yes I am against them, and I bought this one.  And yes, it will be removed from my house as of tomorrow morning.  It will go to my office, and be shared with anyone and everyone who will listen to me talk about the dangers of these stupid things.

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