Name game


tra·di·tion

  [truh-dish-uhn]  Show IPA
noun
1.
the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs,information, etc., from generation to generation, especiallyby word of mouth or by practice: a story that has come downto us by popular tradition.
2.
something that is handed down: the traditions of the Eskimos.
3.
a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting: Therebellious students wanted to break with tradition.
4.
a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices.
5.
a customary or characteristic method or manner: The winnertook a victory lap in the usual track tradition.

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Ahhhh yes.  Traditions.  We've all got them.  Some are passed down from generation to generation, some are our own inventions for specific purposes or reasons.  And, some traditions happen by accident, or simply by the annual passing of seasons, dates, or just cycles of life.

Well, I have a tradition, although I have little control over when it hits each year.   "Sometime in mid to late winter",  the new year's Cabela's Fishing Catalog arrives.  The big one, not the fly fisherman's version...but the one geared to those "other" genres of fishing.

Immediately, I stop what I am doing and thumb through the pages.  I'm rarely looking for anything specific, just looking for something that catches my eye.  It sits on the table near "my" end of the couch for a week or so, then gets moved to the bathroom.  

The bathroom is probably the ONLY place in my home where nobody asks what I am doing, and they don't try to climb on my lap to see what I am looking at.  It is my sanctuary, and a lot of very serious thinking occurs there.

So several years ago, this tradition was already very well established before I even consciously knew it was happening.  Then suddenly, my mind cleared (as will happen in the bathroom), and I realized that every year I find myself looking for, and keeping a mental list of the funniest names for lures.  It's become something I look forward to.  A tradition.

Over the years, I've noticed that Fly tiers or fly fishermen seem to have taken themselves and their craft fairly seriously.  Fly names are usually related to the material used, or the actual bug they are attempting to imitate. 

 Boooooooring.

Crankbaits, spinners and spin fishing lures don't seem to share the same need to be either anatomically, or socially correct.  Some of them are truly free form mold of jello-ish plastic that bear absolutely no resemblance to reality at all.  I find it refreshing, and frankly; I gotta give it up to the crankbait and soft bait manufacturers.  Sometimes they have a pretty funny sense of humor. 

And as this annual tradition begins to happen, I am immediately transformed into an immature teenager.  I snicker and giggle at names that were probably not meant to have the meaning that I have assigned them, but it makes me intensely happy to give completely inappropriate connotations to fish bait.

Here is my pro-tip; As you read the list, apply a slightly sensual, flirting, or downright "dirty" tone to the voice in your head.   If you are comfortable enough around your wife, friend, husband, or significant other...verbalize this voice.  To really sell it, throw in a little body English to make sure your victim feels completely uncomfortable with the message you've just sent them.  

This can real life applications too: "Oh, you need me to open that jar of salsa?  Sweetheart, I'll open your *salsa* any time you want".

But be careful, the cashier at the local drugstore might not appreciate your tone when you give a sultry growl and say "Your customer service makes me want to be a RETURN customer" (be sure to insert sexy emphasis on RETURN and top off with the body english).  If the cashier returns the gesture, either you are in trouble...or you've just been trumped.  Time to hone your skills cause you aren't doing it right.

So...in THAT frame of mind, I proudly present a tradition that I hold dear.  Something that usually takes a boring winter's doldrums away, for a short time anyway.


MacLoosh's Top Ten Lure Names 
from the Cabela's Catalog



    10.  Grave digger
               
                
               9.  Pork chop

                     
               8.  Husky Jerk

                     
               7.  Thunderstick

                      
               6.  Devil's Horse


                     
               5.  Furbit the frog

                     
               4.  The Deuce

                     
               3.  Skinny dipper

                    
               2.  Sweet beaver






               ....and the Number one lure name for 2012 is:

               1.  The Deep Tail Dancer
__________________________________________________

Bloggers note:

I have every intention of addressing this issue with my own fly tying.  

I simply refuse to adhere to the stuffy standards of naming my flies after the material used.  My flies will have distinctive, descriptive and generally inappropriate names that give little, if any indication of what they were made of, what they are supposed to imitate or how they should be fished.

Here is my first entry:

The Polyp
(Please note the deliberate reference to my recent colonoscopy...)
Til next time...

-M


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