Fun with innuendo (a holiday "how to" guide for getting in trouble with your spouse)

Disclaimer:  Despite what the rest of this post may insinuate, I am truly thankful for so many things in my life and I want to wish each and every one of you a truly happy day of thanks.

Now, on to business.

A favorite pastime of mine is to turn normal sounding things into innuendo.  I do this every day, but Thanksgiving is ripe with opportunity.


Here is a short list of Thanksgiving related words that I can't say without either a smirk on my face, or without that added innuendo that I enjoy so much:

Breast
Pie
Cavity
Stuffing (or Stuffed)
Gravy
Baste
Giblets
Thigh
Sauce
Trimming (or simply: Trim)
Jam
Gobble
Buns
Eat
Tasty
Rolls
             
Remember, most of the fun is not just "what" you say, but how you say it.  For best results, go with a low, almost imperceptible growl in your (already) annoyed or embarrassed wife's ear: "Would you like me to baste the thighs now?"

For those having a hard time coming up with truly creative ways to get into trouble...here are a few primer sentences.  The delivery and timing are up to you.  Remember, bonus points are awarded for creativity:

Whew, that's one terrific spread!
I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
Talk about a huge breast!
It's Cool Whip time!
If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
Are you ready for seconds yet?
It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
Don't play with your meat.
Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
You still have a little bit on your chin. (my personal favorite)
Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.
How long will it take after you stick it in?
You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest.
How long do I beat it before it's ready?


Til later, 

-M

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