Now, on to business.
A favorite pastime of mine is to turn normal sounding things into innuendo. I do this every day, but Thanksgiving is ripe with opportunity.
Here is a short list of Thanksgiving related words that I can't say without either a smirk on my face, or without that added innuendo that I enjoy so much:
Stuffing (or Stuffed)
Trimming (or simply: Trim)
Remember, most of the fun is not just "what" you say, but how you say it. For best results, go with a low, almost imperceptible growl in your (already) annoyed or embarrassed wife's ear: "Would you like me to baste the thighs now?"
For those having a hard time coming up with truly creative ways to get into trouble...here are a few primer sentences. The delivery and timing are up to you. Remember, bonus points are awarded for creativity:
Whew, that's one terrific spread! I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. Talk about a huge breast! It's Cool Whip time! If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! Are you ready for seconds yet? It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it? Just wait your turn, you'll get some! Don't play with your meat. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in. You still have a little bit on your chin. (my personal favorite) Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it. How long will it take after you stick it in? You'll know it's ready when it pops up. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that! That's the biggest one I've ever seen! Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest. How long do I beat it before it's ready?